Sunday 3 October 2021

Untangling the Knots

 Hello Readers!

From the comments it became clear that last week's installment was a bit confusing.  Hmm... Dang.

Well, maybe this week's pages will clear some things up or move the story along so the confusion is quickly forgotten. Here we go...

Page 71

Page 72

Ok, so, let's go back a bit.  Fancy, Marcel and Jake were in the flight simulator, Dave was watching out the window as they piloted the real jets through the flight simulator.  Fancy's foot suddenly hurt while doing a maneuver. Dave suggested Fancy look out the window at the remaining flying jets.  Moments later, Lawrence took over and ended the simulation. At least that's how I'd hoped the scenario would play out.  Maybe I mixed up the last page's panel order a bit.

I like all these panels, all of them... except maybe the last on page 72. It's cute, it's romantic and I just don't like it.  Maybe it's too "cute-sy". It's a drag because this is one of the first moments we see how the characters feel about one another. 

Jake and Marcel are funny and well drawn in that first panel, Lawrence and Fancy are pretty consistent throughout.  The jets look really good in all but the last panel.

But that last panel... maybe it's the flat perspective or that the jet looks so boring and not really like a jet.  I dunno.  What do you think?  Can you suggest a better angle?  Maybe some better, less obvious action that still shows how they feel.

1 comment:

  1. You are back on track, baby! I love these pages! Everybody is drawn really well and the storytelling is perfect.

    The last panel is perfection! (So perfect, in fact, that I didn't even notice that the jet looked... off. I didn't look at it because I was so happily watching our heroes being happy.). It is cute, it is romantic, and maybe it's even cutesy -- but it's GREAT! Don't you dare change a thing about it!

    Illustrated Ghost


Thanks for your input!